Ohio's Little Ones Against the World

The day I found out I miscarried a second baby was the same day the Ohio State football team played and won the 2014 National Championship. I have cheered voraciously for the Buckeyes for as long as I can remember, but this time, all I recall is crying and napping throughout the game. I could not find it in me to care. Something seemingly so important suddenly became starkly insignificant.

Significant was the utter guilt and sheer sadness. Each of my pregnancy losses resulted in guilt. But this time was harder, more intense. Mainly because I possibly could have done something. I could have fought more for our little one.

 Our firstborn was nine months old when we found ourselves unintentionally pregnant again.  With our oldest, a fertility doctor had placed me on the hormone supplement progesterone which resulted in a healthy, beautiful, seven pound baby girl, Rylie Grace. 

I fearfully asked my OBGYN doctor if for this pregnancy I would need to be on progesterone again and she told me no. I listened to my doctor. And we lost that little one.

The day after the Buckeye victory, the local news announced that each baby born that year would receive a scarlet newborn blanket with the Ohio State logo and a "Born a Champion" inscription. 

Sounds trivial I know, but it felt like an added blow. I could vividly picture a newborn wrapped in the  blanket. I felt angry. And I began to ask myself why? Why didn't I fight harder? Why didn't I listen to my intuition?

I never wish that pain and guilt on any woman ever. 

Studies reveal that 60% of women who've had an abortion are coerced into the procedure. This is heartbreaking. An evil that simply would possibly not be an option with better laws in place. Could all this cultural talk of 'let's do what's best for the women' be propelling a lie of what is truly best for women?

No matter where you stand on abortion, I am betting that you care. You, like me, want to fight for what's best. That's the question right? What is best? For the record, I wholeheartedly am for women's autonomy. Women should be able to choose whom they marry, what type of career they hold, where they live and virtually every big life decision should be theirs to make. You will not change my mind on these things.

But if it is an undeniable, scientific fact that a fetus is a living human being (which it is) then the debate really boils down to:

Is it ever right to take an innocent human beings life?

Water, food, air and time are all that separates a fetus (Latin for little one) from adulthood. 

Keeping those same four elements from my little one, my three year old would also end his life.

We call Cruella DeVille evil for wanting to end the lives of puppies for her own convenience. But we can not agree on a living and breathing human? And what about God? Have we lost our fear of God?

If you want to check out here because you are unsure if God is real then let me call attention to this...

If there is no God and we are all just painting meaning on the world then should we not just eat, drink and kill the little ones for tomorrow we die? I mean why am I even parenting? It's surely not always convenient or fun. If we are just our own gods doing what's seemingly best for our lives and our own little "kingdoms" then who is to say that rape is wrong? Or Hamas is wrong? Or any other objectively evil, horrific acts we've seen? 

Right and wrong without God would all derive from human opinion. We need and we know that there is a higher than human authority. We may not be able to see this ultimate being but can we see justice or love or hate or gravity or logic or the wind?

No but we certainly see the effects of those things. We know God by the same way. We see the effects and we reason back to a cause.

So I don't know about you but I'm going to start with a fear of the Creator God. Fear  of the one who can kill body and soul. 

The reason I am even writing this- baring my soul - and fighting for Ohio's little ones I may never meet earth side is because I'm firmly convicted that the Christian worldview and the Bible rest on multiple lines of compelling evidence. 

If the Bible is what best explains reality then lest we forget... little ones do belong to Him. If we love God we love and fight for what belongs to Him. The greatest commandment is to love Him and then love for our neighbors follows from that. In the proper context.

 So let us recognize that every thing in this life that does not stand with Him is the opposite of good. And then we cling to the truth that one day the world will be right. His kingdom will come and until then I pray that we are not overcome by evil. But we overcome evil with good. It's how virtually all the stories go right? Good wins in the end. Cruella DeVille goes down and the dalmations live on. 

A good and true and beautiful God who sits on the throne, always has and always will can and ultimately bring good from the bad.

Sometimes we don't see the beauty that arises from ashes in this life. But sometimes we do.

As for my own story, I just may hold, raise and play with my lost little ones one day. Truly His little ones but what happened after that miscarriage? Certainly a deeper understanding of my loving Creator, a more grateful heart. And...

Not one but two beautiful baby girls both wrapped in "Born a Champion" blankets being raised by a mom who will fight for them... to know the truth, to know justice, to know and love the one true God.  May His Kingdom come and His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.

Honestly I forgot about the significance of the OSU blankets until they were around a year old because you know...TWINS!