Where Modern Moms are Gettin' It Wrong

-


 The summer of 2016, the internet world went bananas over the true story of a boy making his way into a Gorilla exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo. My own social media feed was rampant with comments along the lines of “ That parent is so stupid!” 

I'll never forget how outraged I was over the lack of sympathy for this mom. I mean, good grief are we really all this insecure in our own parenting that we feel the need to put this woman down in a feeble attempt to elevate ourselves? Is that what makes us sure and confident? I would bet not.

I also recall silently praying that my own kids’ inevitable, future shenanigans would never ever make their way to the internet world.So far so good. But check back soon, my boy is only 4. 

 From what I've seen, we all desperately want to do this parenting gig well. If we stop and think deeply we can recognize that to invest in what matters is to invest in people.  Especially little people. After all we can't take our Stanley cups and our North Face jackets with us in the next life.

But when we compare ourselves to other parents.... honestly, do we feel good?  I've witnessed that moms particularly seem privy to measure their "success" up against how other moms are doing. (I'm guilty too) And now the smartphone/social media era gives us full, regular (veneered if you will) access to what Susie-Q next door does. She's got it all together and she looks cute too! 

Seriously moms: why do we do this? If  dad is on duty and the kid gets a shiner (a big ole bruise) then he laughs it off and sends a pic to his friends. But moms? There  seems to be a culture of shame that we are swimming in. And we are the ones that have created this culture.

We believe that if we can only appear to have it all together then we are good moms.

But let's collectively give up the act.  Let's stop the comparison. Let's enjoy our kids more. I dare say that if our children are little pawns to bring us attention and glory, then they will hardly feel like we delight in them.  And we likely will have a real difficult time enjoying them.

So, instead of building the beautiful insta story, Let's build real relationships. Let's be for other moms. Let's stop the comparison. Somebody nailed it when they quoted that comparison robs us of our joy. Comparison never leads to true contentment. 

Contentment will never derive from personal perfection because perfection amongst humanity does not exist. A content mama does not compare because a content mother knows her value is rooted in the ultimate life giver.  A content mamas' identity comes from someone powerful and loving. A mom that is free and confident recognizes that the good God of the universe appointed her mom. I will tell you, if you let that truth sink in, it leads to freedom and contentment.

God wants us to be free and He is a promise keeper (See the whole Bible and look at the evidence outside of the Bible) and He loves our kids more than we ever could.. If we trust in God we are loved perfectly and we can be content in a real relationship with Him. Don't let the fashionable, organized mom on social media be your guide. That only leaves us wanting. That only leads to discontentment and fear. 

It's been said that perfect love casts out fear. * If you want, I'll be your friend and you can learn from my failures. I surely won't love you perfectly but will always try and point you (and your kiddos) to the One who does. The God of the Bible, the same one who made you Mama, wants you to be part of His family so you can become more like Him.  If God raised Jesus from the dead and we trust Him as King then we can leave the Stanley cups and IPhones behind because now we see darkly but one day we will see perfection face to face. **

Modern, mean moms get at me...Here you go...I'm late a lot. My 10 year old does not know how to tie a shoe. We eat frozen pizza a lot. My house is pretty messy, We never (I mean never )finish a home school curriculum and I could go on but my life has never been better. I am aware I am not perfect  and I don't have to be, because Jesus is and I am becoming. (Phillipians 1:6) Dear Mama, I want that for you too!

1 Timothy 6: 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.

1 Cor 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.





 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Most Important Question to Ask

-
Image
  Rainy Mondays. They tend to get me down. Today was no exception. When I feel the need to get out of the house and don't want to spend money or go far - we head to a little, suburban downtown with a beautiful bridge within walking distance from a library. Thankfully, my kids love to check out books and this way they could burn off some energy and not get muddy.  After placing our book loot in the car we headed out for our bridge walk. Straight away, we noticed that four men had set up a booth. Printed in large letters on their table cover read: "Was Jesus born on December 25th?"  Several pamphlets rested on the table. They were clearly Muslim apologists.  My husband gave me a look that said: " Don't do it, don't go there, please."  To be fair, I completely understood where he was coming from. Radical, hyper-fundamentalist Islam is quite scary. If I were to go there and simply ask the men even just one of the questions that were running through my mind,...
Read more

What We Really Should be Teaching our Daughters about Taylor Swift, Boyfriends and Success

-
Image
  I am no Swiftie, but my young daughters are. My daughters are not big NFL fans, but their parents are. This season's combination of TSwizzle and pro football was nothing but sheer entertainment for our family of six. Including the reactions of the social media world. Americans seem to either love and worship the duo or vehemently hate and demonize them. Well surprise, surprise: I hold a different perspective than most Americans.  My daughters aren't witnessing me hate Taylor but they have heard me repeatedly say I would never switch lives with her. While hating a person is always wrong, elevating these two celebs - or any created being - to be gods is also to err.   The above meme is inadvertently communicating that all the young girls of the world should strive to be Taylor Swift.  She's the standard. And parents who don't encourage their kids to reach earthly success well they gotta just do better.  I unreservedly disagree.  To unwittingly commun...
Read more

Teaching Our Kids About Heaven: Is it Rational?

-
Image
 When my husband Winston, and I were just 23 we had the opportunity to visit the big island of Hawaii. His company promised to cover expenses, including an airline ticket and 3 nights in a stunning, seaside resort. Before-hand, there was some friendly debating between my father-in-law and I, as to who should accompany Winston. I had recently begun a new job, had zero paid leave, was too young to rent a car and was not exactly rolling in the dough. Winston’s dad however, was unattached, retired and apparently had made wise fiscal decisions over the decades. He held the obvious position in the argument. But I was not, not going. Not without a fight, mind you. In the months leading up to the trip, my older cousin (whom I always looked up to) was selling me on the island. She bi-annually visited Maui and had cast a vision for how remarkably beautiful the beaches were. Being an ardent beach (and adventure) lover, I begged and begged Winston to ignore our miniscule savings account and ...
Read more